April 16th 2015

It's been a tough 48 hours for me 

and my desire to eat for emotional reasons.

My daughter, who is 6 going on 16 is going through a difficult phase in her little life. As Momma, I take each thing so personally as I teach her character and how to be a little gal that listens to God's voice.
She's been struggling with pushing her brother a lot and just a lot of little relationship problems. All of it normal kid stuff in the grand scheme of life but, to me it just felt like "WHAT IS MY CHILD turning into?"
All that to say, despite struggling with these Momma emotions I did not eat sugar, potato chips or anything that comes in bag/box form. I stuck with my regular workouts, and eating plan. I did do some stress-shopping and came home with an adorable tank top. This lasts far longer than ice cream ever will.
It feels good to process and pray about my disappointments instead of eating to cover them.
Though I still struggle with my desires to eat, they do not overwhelm me.

In life food is so comforting to engage in. It never changes. Each sugary crisp bite stays the same. It is simply masking the problem. To get to the true root of things, we need to bow the knee and turn our face upward. Chocolate chips can't help you raise your children but, God can. This weeks lesson is a great reminder for me! It's finding freedom to be ok with feeling down, that's part of life. I don't need to try to mask it with another problem! 

The feeling of freedom!

April 9th

It's a happy spring break here today! The rain is gone (although we needed it) and the sun is shining.
During our family walk last night I was struck by how easy it is to walk. I ambled nimbled down the road feeling little tiredness.
A few years ago even walking down the road took my breath away.
Never ever take your health for granted. Getting in shape has given me the ability to enjoy life again.

Little Son's 5th birthday!

I've never made it a secret that I brought my self to the emotional breaking point a few years ago both physically and mentally. Most days I was in constant near-break down state always having heart racing, headaches, fatigue, throwing up, crying jags and I could go on.
My husband remarked to me the other day that he is always on high alert because for so many months this is the way I was. He would come home from work to find me curled up on the couch in front of the TV with the kids.
He said he has to get used to this new me. He keeps waiting for me to crumble in a crying heap. Not that I never struggle with depression and anxiety, it just does not have a hold on me the way it used to.

In my life, I have had to heal emotionally as well as work on my physical appearance.  It has been a remarkable two-point journey.

March was a bit of a struggle time for me, at least the last half of the month.
I am hoping April is a bit better eating and exercise wise. This week, is my week to get back on track and focused on what I need to accomplish. Pulling the old goals out of the closet, dusting them off and grabbing life by the horns!